Comments on: Marriage First http://squigglemum.com/mums/marriage-first/ A Mother\'s Heart, A Teacher\'s Mind, A Writer\'s Hand Thu, 09 Sep 2010 03:53:42 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Life with a new baby – relationship changes « Works for me homemaking http://squigglemum.com/mums/marriage-first/comment-page-1/#comment-2052 Life with a new baby – relationship changes « Works for me homemaking Sun, 18 Apr 2010 20:05:20 +0000 http://squigglemum.com/?p=2480#comment-2052 [...] We read about this in a couple of books. Every evening when Matt first gets home from school (unless it is really late), we make a cup of coffee, sit down (sometimes on the “couch”, or wherever really) and have a chat about our day for 10 minutes or so. It is a good habit to get into to “connect” each evening, and also to model to our children that we prioritise our relationship with each other. {Squigglemum had a great post about this a few months ago.} [...] [...] We read about this in a couple of books. Every evening when Matt first gets home from school (unless it is really late), we make a cup of coffee, sit down (sometimes on the “couch”, or wherever really) and have a chat about our day for 10 minutes or so. It is a good habit to get into to “connect” each evening, and also to model to our children that we prioritise our relationship with each other. {Squigglemum had a great post about this a few months ago.} [...]

]]> By: Melissa http://squigglemum.com/mums/marriage-first/comment-page-1/#comment-2051 Melissa Sun, 28 Feb 2010 13:10:12 +0000 http://squigglemum.com/?p=2480#comment-2051 Hi Cath, I loved what you wrote. I live in a blended family and to try and achieve my desire for our marriage to come first is paramount for me. I believe that the marriage is the foundation of the family and from a strong marriage will flow a happy family. However, given that two of the three children in my household are only here 50% of the time, it makes it difficult for my husband to have any time for his wife. he wants to maximise the time he gets with the two daughters he only has custody of every other week and therefore I feel like I am a part-time wife. I am interested in connecting with other mums who live in a blended family so as to develop a network of sounding boards and sanity checking friends. So if there is any one out there who feels they are struggling with a blended family life style, please say hi. Hi Cath,

I loved what you wrote. I live in a blended family and to try and achieve my desire for our marriage to come first is paramount for me. I believe that the marriage is the foundation of the family and from a strong marriage will flow a happy family.

However, given that two of the three children in my household are only here 50% of the time, it makes it difficult for my husband to have any time for his wife. he wants to maximise the time he gets with the two daughters he only has custody of every other week and therefore I feel like I am a part-time wife.

I am interested in connecting with other mums who live in a blended family so as to develop a network of sounding boards and sanity checking friends. So if there is any one out there who feels they are struggling with a blended family life style, please say hi.

]]> By: Zoey @ Good Goog http://squigglemum.com/mums/marriage-first/comment-page-1/#comment-2050 Zoey @ Good Goog Thu, 25 Feb 2010 03:50:26 +0000 http://squigglemum.com/?p=2480#comment-2050 To be honest, I don't think we've really decided yet. I've heard Dr Phil (oh yes, I'm going there, I do quote him from time to time exposing my secret reality tv shame) that children are just on loan (until they leave the nest). And while I think it's important to spend time as a married couple and not just relate to one another as co-parents, I also think that with having a young child, her needs can't always wait. She doesn't necessarily have the capacity, because she's not even two, whereas my husband is an adult (most of the time). So if we were planning a romantic evening and she's having a rough night, well she comes first. But just because I'm attending to her needs doesn't mean I'm ignoring my husband - that's what he wants too. .-= Zoey @ Good Goog´s last blog ..<a href="http://goodgoog.com/duck-tasty/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=duck-tasty" rel="nofollow">Duck is Tasty</a> =-. To be honest, I don’t think we’ve really decided yet. I’ve heard Dr Phil (oh yes, I’m going there, I do quote him from time to time exposing my secret reality tv shame) that children are just on loan (until they leave the nest).

And while I think it’s important to spend time as a married couple and not just relate to one another as co-parents, I also think that with having a young child, her needs can’t always wait. She doesn’t necessarily have the capacity, because she’s not even two, whereas my husband is an adult (most of the time).

So if we were planning a romantic evening and she’s having a rough night, well she comes first. But just because I’m attending to her needs doesn’t mean I’m ignoring my husband – that’s what he wants too.
Zoey @ Good Goog´s last blog ..Duck is Tasty My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Seraphim http://squigglemum.com/mums/marriage-first/comment-page-1/#comment-2049 Seraphim Wed, 17 Feb 2010 05:14:56 +0000 http://squigglemum.com/?p=2480#comment-2049 It's a juggling act, all of it. That said, my husband and I work hard at loving each other. The reality is my children will (hopefully) grow up and move away but he is my life partner. I don't want to wake up beside a stranger one day. So we try to getaway just the 2 of us a couple of times a year and we work on not taking each other for granted. I adore my children passionately, but he comes first. It’s a juggling act, all of it. That said, my husband and I work hard at loving each other. The reality is my children will (hopefully) grow up and move away but he is my life partner. I don’t want to wake up beside a stranger one day. So we try to getaway just the 2 of us a couple of times a year and we work on not taking each other for granted. I adore my children passionately, but he comes first.

]]> By: BusyBrissyMum http://squigglemum.com/mums/marriage-first/comment-page-1/#comment-2048 BusyBrissyMum Tue, 16 Feb 2010 09:46:44 +0000 http://squigglemum.com/?p=2480#comment-2048 Happily ever after won't always come easy that's for sure. Thanks Cath for the reminder to pursue our friendship more......and get back into "us time" and date nights again. .-= BusyBrissyMum´s last blog ..<a href="http://busybrissymum.blogspot.com/2010/02/curly-girls-hair-tie-clip-competition.html" rel="nofollow">Curly Girls Hair Tie + Clip Competition</a> =-. Happily ever after won’t always come easy that’s for sure. Thanks Cath for the reminder to pursue our friendship more……and get back into “us time” and date nights again.
BusyBrissyMum´s last blog ..Curly Girls Hair Tie + Clip Competition My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: MEG http://squigglemum.com/mums/marriage-first/comment-page-1/#comment-2047 MEG Tue, 16 Feb 2010 03:38:33 +0000 http://squigglemum.com/?p=2480#comment-2047 Hi Cath - couldn't agree more. My husband has a favourite quote: "The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother!" Awww.... Hi Cath – couldn’t agree more. My husband has a favourite quote: “The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother!”
Awww….

]]> By: Christine http://squigglemum.com/mums/marriage-first/comment-page-1/#comment-2046 Christine Mon, 15 Feb 2010 06:59:19 +0000 http://squigglemum.com/?p=2480#comment-2046 Well, my partner and I include our 4 yr old daughter in our celebrations. I don't think it has to be either/or necessarily. She comes and celebrates our anniversary with us at the restaurant and yesterday Charlotte chose and gave the flowers to me for Valentines Day. That works for both my partner and me. I do, however need to schedule more time with just Peter, but we're quite laid back about this. I waited a long time to be a Mum and can't have anymore, so at such a young age, She deserves a fair bit of our attention. Don't worry, Charlotte knows when 'Daddy and I are having a conversation right now' for instance. It's a tricky thing to balance, but each family works differently. Christine :-) .-= Christine´s last blog ..<a href="http://gippsygirl.com/2010/mom-webs-video-contest/" rel="nofollow">Mom Webs Video Contest</a> =-. Well, my partner and I include our 4 yr old daughter in our celebrations. I don’t think it has to be either/or necessarily.

She comes and celebrates our anniversary with us at the restaurant and yesterday Charlotte chose and gave the flowers to me for Valentines Day.

That works for both my partner and me. I do, however need to schedule more time with just Peter, but we’re quite laid back about this.

I waited a long time to be a Mum and can’t have anymore, so at such a young age, She deserves a fair bit of our attention. Don’t worry, Charlotte knows when ‘Daddy and I are having a conversation right now’ for instance. It’s a tricky thing to balance, but each family works differently.

Christine :-)
Christine´s last blog ..Mom Webs Video Contest My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Michelle http://squigglemum.com/mums/marriage-first/comment-page-1/#comment-2045 Michelle Mon, 15 Feb 2010 05:39:47 +0000 http://squigglemum.com/?p=2480#comment-2045 You've said it all so well Cath. Kids need to see what a healthly relationship looks like. .-= Michelle´s last blog ..<a href="http://michelledevans.blogspot.com/2010/02/alaat-12.html" rel="nofollow">ALAAT #12</a> =-. You’ve said it all so well Cath. Kids need to see what a healthly relationship looks like.
Michelle´s last blog ..ALAAT #12 My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Megan at Writing Out Loud http://squigglemum.com/mums/marriage-first/comment-page-1/#comment-2044 Megan at Writing Out Loud Mon, 15 Feb 2010 05:37:05 +0000 http://squigglemum.com/?p=2480#comment-2044 Great post. I definitely agree with this, although, as you say, it can be difficult at times. My husband and I have struggled a little at times since our little girl was born, but it comes down to communication and making the effort. So cliche, but so true. And the best gift I can give my daughter is a happy household and an example of a great relationship. .-= Megan at Writing Out Loud´s last blog ..<a href="http://writingloud.blogspot.com/2010/02/do-you-want-to-save-your-change.html" rel="nofollow">Do You Want To Save Your Change?</a> =-. Great post. I definitely agree with this, although, as you say, it can be difficult at times. My husband and I have struggled a little at times since our little girl was born, but it comes down to communication and making the effort. So cliche, but so true.

And the best gift I can give my daughter is a happy household and an example of a great relationship.
Megan at Writing Out Loud´s last blog ..Do You Want To Save Your Change? My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Fiona http://squigglemum.com/mums/marriage-first/comment-page-1/#comment-2043 Fiona Mon, 15 Feb 2010 05:00:36 +0000 http://squigglemum.com/?p=2480#comment-2043 We encourage many of the parents we work with in disability to make sure they look after themselves and their relationships. And also the siblings! We encourage many of the parents we work with in disability to make sure they look after themselves and their relationships. And also the siblings!

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