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How To Un-Spoil A Family Holiday
Ever the optimist, I always go on holidays with high expectations. Before we go I imagine lazing around and enjoying sleep ins. In my head the kids are perfect, and SquiggleDad and I get to hang out together like we did BC. I expect that we’ll all have fun together, reconnect as a family, and return to the real world refreshed. As I said, I’m an optimist!
With expectations like those, you can understand why I’ve been disappointed with family holidays in the past. Each holiday we have taken though has helped me to learn a little more about myself, my husband, our family dynamics, and how to make sure the holiday is great for all of us. So here are my 5 tips on how to un-spoil a family holiday:
- Ditch your expectations. I don’t think the media are on our side here. Ads with stereotypical “happy families” on holiday in exotic locations put images in our minds that reality can’t live up to. Even at our happiest on a beautiful beach, my family doesn’t look like we belong in a commercial. My hair is frizzy from the sea air, I’m a little self conscious because I don’t look quite as I did two children ago, the kids are probably a bit grotty, and my husband has bags under his eyes. That doesn’t mean we aren’t happy! It just means we are real. Having unrealistic expectations of what your family holiday will look like is bound to spoil your time away.
- Delay your departure. I don’t know about you, but by the time we escape for a holiday we are actually long overdue for it. This means that my husband and I are both tired, stressed and overwhelmed by the busyness of life. Changing our environment doesn’t necessarily change those feelings. One thing we have learned (the hard way) is that we benefit from a day at home before we leave. Sometimes the rush to “get there” is just another stress. A chilled out day at home helps us both to unwind so that we can enjoy the holiday.
- Divide and conquer. There is still a lot of work to be done when you holiday with young kids. Nappies to change, children to bath, tables to wipe down, dishes to wipe up, floors to sweep. (We didn’t do ANY of this on our holidays BC! We slept in, ate out, and did zero chores.) I find that dividing the chores up before we go helps me to feel like I am having a holiday too. I am grateful to be able to opt out of nappy changes for a few days! We also take turns giving each other a sleep in.
- Treat everyone (including yourself). Everyone deserves to feel special on holidays. In our family we each choose a holiday activity to do together – mum, dad and kids. The four of us have different ideas of fun, so this way we all get to share with each other. I usually choose markets or a bushwalk, SquiggleDad usually chooses a nice restaurant for a meal, and the kids choose anything from the beach to the zoo!
- Simplify. The simpler you make the holiday, the easier and more enjoyable it will be. Keep your days simple, and don’t try to cram too much in. Keep the routine simple and predictable. Even on holidays young kids need normal bedtimes and daytime naps. Pack simple essentials – play clothes, a couple of familiar bedtime stories, a toy for each child, a few kitchen essentials. Eat simply. And enjoy the simplicity.
A family holiday is bound to be spoiled if you have unrealistic expectations, leave in a rush and arrive stressed out, don’t give yourself a break from some of the mundane, focus only on the kids, and complicate things. Do yourself a favour and un-spoil your next trip!
What other tips do you have for un-spoiling a family holiday? I’d love to hear anything you’ve tried while on holiday with kids. Leave your comments and suggestions below!
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Your tips nearly made me cry. I think that might be a sign that a holiday is in order!
I particularly like your divide and conquer tip. I’m often feeling like I didn’t get a real break.
On our last trip I did a fair bit of organising before we left. I had a little notebook full of names and addresses of kid friendly eateries, parks, etc. on the way to our destinations. If we needed to stop we knew where we could go and that the location would work for us.
.-= Brooke´s last blog ..Brooke Sews Part Two Felt Coloured Egg Game =-.
We are usually visiting family on holidays, but even if we aren’t we make up an itinerary before we go. It doesn’t have to be completely filled out, but it ensures that all the important things are covered and we’re not rushing the last few days to fit everything in. And we’ve learnt the hard way to include a ‘chillout’ day every week.
Another thing is to decide on clothes – are you taking lots and not washing, or taking the minimum? If that’s the case, make sure you schedule washing time in there!
.-= Deb´s last blog ..Building Landscapes =-.
I loved this post Cath! It is so exactly the things we are just slowly learning! My only tip is a little boring – the accountant in me coming our here – but budgeting for your trip and trying to prepay as much of it before you go also adds to the relaxation experience. It also means that you don’t always feel like you are spending money and hopefully avoids any surprise expenses popping up to immediately stress you out and make you realise all the work you will have to do when you get home to pay for your holiday!
Could relate to those tips!
My tip would be to pack an extra set of clothes for you and children on plane trips – in case of mishaps of all kinds!
And I always take on the plane little toys the kids haven’t seen before or for a while that you can pull out one by one – I used to go for 1 toy/hr of travel when kids were tiny and put them all in a small container. Those tiny size books are great too.
And a tip from my latest trip – take the sick bags from the plane if you have a child (like mine) that is that way inclined.
I like to make sure that when we get back from holidays, we have at least one full day with dad home, before he has to head back to work. So if we get back Sunday, I make sure that he is home Monday. Even if you wash when you are away there is generally lots to do when you get back. Having two adults around helps to share the workload!
Sticker activity books would have to be my number one ‘to take’ item with toddlers and preschoolers.
Travelling with extended family or friends, or befriending a family with similar aged children once you are there is also a good way of ‘sharing the load!’
.-= Christie – Childhood 101´s last blog ..Kidspots Top 50 Blog Your Way To Dunk Island – Revisiting Childhood Memories =-.
Having done a fair few long haul flights to Europe to visit family with the kids since they were babies my top list is:
- I pack clothes for me and the kids in hand luggage for accidents that are bound to happen when travelling non stop for 30+ hours
- try and do as less planning as possible. The more you try and jam in during the holiday the more stressful the holiday will become (funny that!)
- I put aside a full day for packing before we go and a full day when we return to unpack and wash, get sorted etc. When jet lag is threw in I extend this to 2/3 days either side.
Sometimes I long for the day when holidays go back to me just throwing my clothes into a bag and taking off with only myself to worry about (not the clothes of 3 other people!). But guess the fact is everything has but a time and these days (holidays with the kids) will come to an end soon enough..