Clearing The Fog
I’ve been in a bit of a fog lately. It’s my own fault. I’ve been there before and I’ll be there again, as many times as I need to in order to learn how to get the balance right in my life.
My intentions are always good, and my heart is in the right place – but I say YES too often. I over commit and end up in a fog. A fog of work, and expectation, and pressure, and deadlines. I lose sight of the sun and get lost in the haze.
I’m always in the fog for a little while before I suddenly look up and realise that everything is out of focus. Usually by then the damage is done. Last week I forgot a friend’s birthday, even though it was marked in my diary. My kids have had to physically come and pull me away from the laptop. Those things don’t make me feel great.
The only good thing about realising I’m in a fog, is that it means I can take steps to clear it. You can’t deal with something until you acknowledge it exists. So here’s what I’m doing to clear the fog:
- Stepping back – I’ve resigned from some paid online writing and social media work. Money isn’t everything. I’ll also have to say no to some of the online writing I do for free.
- Stepping out – I’ve scheduled one fun night a week for me-time. No house work, writing work, voluntary work or mummy work. For someone who only earns a little I sure work a lot! I need some breathing space, out of the house.
- Stepping up – I’m increasing my commitment to family time. It’s not that I need to dedicate more time, it’s more about being present.
Here in Brisbane foggy winter’s mornings clear to sunny blue skies. The grey lifts, and the sun is right where it’s always been. I take comfort in that.
I know where you are, and I’ve been there before, more than once. The internet is a constant world, that can suck hours of you before you even realise it.
I think you have to realise your self-worth, to yourself and your family… and sometimes all it takes is a foggy moment {or two} for you to realise that you haven’t seen the sun for a while.
Enjoy your sunny days. xx
Well said. I find it gets a bit foggy around here too. The more I commit, the less I get done… Time to smell the flowers.
I hear ya … I think we all have to do the reflect, re-think, and prune thing on a regular basis. xxx
ah that nasty fog… much better when it lifts to a sunny afternoon than when it hangs over your head all day long
.-= katepickle´s last blog ..Friday’s Deep Thought of the Day. =-.
Working from home is really challenging. From the time my daughter was about a year old she started closing the laptop while I was working ;o) And being present can make such a difference. Now I tend to have focused play time with her in between my blocks of work and that helps to meet both our needs.
.-= Zoey @ Good Goog´s last blog ..Out of the Cone of Silence =-.
So happy to hear the fog is clearing, enjoy the sunshine with your beautiful family. And good on you for saying no, sometimes it can be a very tricky word to say
.-= Christie – Childhood 101´s last blog ..Space to Play [and Learn]: 10 Tips for Creating Great Play Spaces =-.
I totally get where you’re coming from, and sometimes it’s only when your body starts showing physical signs that we realise.
.-= Hear Mum Roar´s last blog ..New toy from Mattel – Peek a Boo clock =-.
good to hear, we want squigglemum not supermum. I stopped blogging at the end of last year. and it took a weight off my shoulders and I was not doing anywhere near the amount you were. I stepped away from the computer got on my bike and have been making my life better. I am finding that now I am happier those around me are too.
If you ever want to join me for a ride on a Saturday afternoon or morning let me know. Im kidless on Monday nights and Saturday nights too if you ever want a girlie movie night in I can offer a venue, you can organise the girls. We can even play Wii lol.
I hope that both you and Damon will find happiness in your new free time and please please please dont use that time to say yes to something else. Take a lesson from our 21month olds NO is so easy to say.
Cath, thanks for your honesty, I think a lot of people will echo your thoughts, I know I do.
I understand. And I think most mums would. x
.-= Katrina Germein´s last blog ..Some of My Favourites =-.
Oh I hear you. I’ve made a few similar decisions in the past week. Whilst it means I am still horribly overloaded right now I know in a few weeks I won’t be. The fog will clear here too
.-= seraphimsp´s last blog ..Red nail polish, high heels and not dying. =-.
oh Cath – great, great blog!! Saying ‘no’ is sooooo hard sometimes and the awful feeling of being overloaded is yuck! Good on you for figuring it all out – think I might have to take a leaf out of your book!! Oh loved the photos too!
I really liked this post Cath. “For someone who only earns a little I sure work a lot!” Could so relate to this. I have getting organised to have a well over due online break soon. It is so important to keep working at the juggling at that is working from home.
.-= PlanningQueen´s last blog ..Tips For Visiting The Art Gallery With Kids =-.
I could really relate to what you said about more family time – not so much “more time” but “being present”. So many times I am playing tea-parties while writing a mental shopping list, planning a blog post, thinking about the next day… I think my daughter is starting to notice when I’m not really “there”
.-= Julie´s last blog ..The lure of the coast (or the lure of materialism) =-.
Yep I totally see how you feel Cath – I just blogged about it myself… I’m glad you’ve been able to pull back on a few things. It’s so liberating isn’t it?!
.-= Joni´s last blog ..Failing Miserably but only for a season =-.