Tantrum Tracker
I’m yet to meet a mum who hasn’t struggled with tantrums through the toddler years, but some of us seem to have a rougher time with it than others. My daughter and I have had some really tough days. She’s a beautiful-hearted little girl, but she can really turn it on!
At first I told myself that tantrums were not only normal, but to be expected. After a while though I started to become concerned. Some days her behaviour was so markedly out of character, and she could deteriorate rapidly seemingly without provocation. I was beginning to suspect certain foods may have been exacerbating her behaviour, and I knew that I would need to keep records in order to work out what was going on. I had a quick look online to see if any resources were available to help me do this (no point reinventing the wheel), but didn’t find anything so set about designing my own. What can I say, it’s the teacher in me!
I wanted to know whether tantrums happened on certain days of the week or at certain times of the day. I wanted to record how long tantrums actually lasted, because one minute of a screaming toddler can seem like ten. I wanted to work out whether several small tantrums pre-empted a full blown rage. But most of all I wanted to keep a record of what may have contributed to the tantrum.
If a tantrum came within an hour of eating, I marked (F) for food in the Contributing Factors column and noted what she ate. Tantrums are common if kids are sick (S), tired (T) or out of routine (R) so I marked those too. It was important for me to acknowledge that sometimes my parenting (P) decisions contributed to a tantrum. It can be easy to blame everything else and not look at ourselves! There were days when I overreacted to typical toddler behaviour. There were times when I didn’t give a warning before giving a punishment. There were situations when my expectations were unrealistic. My records wouldn’t have been accurate if I hadn’t admitted my contributions.
Keeping a printout of the Tantrum Tracker on the fridge meant I could quickly take notes throughout the day. At the end of the week it was easy to look over and identify any patterns in behaviour. I started to notice which foods consistently resulted in uncontrollable behaviour and eliminated them. I also picked up on which parenting strategies were causing me more grief than good, and switched tactics! Keeping track of my daughter’s behaviour didn’t spell the end of tantrums, but it did help me to reduce their frequency and intensity. I hope that this resource is a help to you too.
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I used the following legend to keep notes in the Contributing Factors column. Use these if they work for you, or feel free to invent your own. I’d love your feedback on this. Would you like to see the key included on the sheet???
(F) = Food (S) = Sick (T) = Tired (R) = Routine change (P) = Parenting decision
Wow, this is such a fabulous idea! When I was teaching in a daycare center way back when, I had to deal with 2 yr old’s tantrums (times 8 kids!) constantly. I asked the director of the daycare for advice,and this is EXACTLY what she told me to do. Once I had the pattern, I was able to make changes and help the kids regulate themselves. The great thing about it was that it put me in an observation mode, rather than a REACTIVE mode, which gave me just the distance I needed to stay calm and let the kids feel what they were feeling. BRAVO to you, for coming up with an easy way for the parents to be better parents! I will bookmark this and refer.
interesting I would add that ‘toy wars’ are the biggest cause of tantrums in our house with my twins – I am going to see if there are other triggers too now.
I can’t see how to change the toy situation unless we buy two identical of everything and even then they fight over which one belongs to who or who has more blocks *sigh* but the others things.
thanks !
As a psychologist (in pre-Mum days, am still registered but not currently practicing)this would always be a starting point before initiating any change – would always get a parent/teacher to start with observation and monitoring, looking for triggers, keeping monitoring forms or observation diaries etc to look for any patterns etc so well done
Given your observation of food triggers you may be interested in the Fed Up website/books/cookbooks/factsheets etc
http://www.fedupwithfoodadditives.info/factsheets/FACTadditive.htm
Used to be pooh-poohed as a bit wacko and not necessary but more and more empirical support for this sort of diet (ie cutting out both artificial AND NATURAL triggers for poor health and behaviour. Looking at chemical additives, colouring, preservatives, flavouring as well as naturally occurring salicylates, amines and glutamates even in “healthy” foods – fruit and veg, yougurt, bread etc
still think there are MANY causes of childrens behaviour (and poor health)and cant lay ALL the blame/causal factors on diet (in fact problematic to do so and ignore other possible causes) but I do believe diet/food can play a large role and is well worth every parent taking a look at it, doing their own research into it and making a decision about it for their own family
I am impressed!!!
@Michele – I completely agree. I have been to the Fed Up site and actually thought I would do a spin off post from this one on food triggers. It’s surprising to discover some of the “healthy” foods (like certain fruits) which can cause reactions. In my early years of teaching I too may have dismissed foods as a cause of poor behaviour, but my mind has been changed!
Good luck with all of that. I have wracked my brains and can’t recall my sosn ever throwing a tantrum, seriously, *not gloating, actually worried my mind is going, ha* but my bro-in-law’s kid threw SUCH a wobbly on a plane they took him to docors and turns out he is Aspergers. ??? Hugs, and hope your tracker goes well. I suppose if my kids played up, I would put them in the bathroom andmake them sit on the floor. They didnt do it very often, always worked.
Erin’s sensitive to MSG which is a shame because she looooves Twisties, even when her eating was at it’s worst she’d always take a Twistie. Now that she’s eating okay we try to avoid food with MSG.
Wow, this is great! My 3 and a half year old sometimes just snaps. He will be perfect then he’ll get mad about something and it is so hard to talk him out of a tantrum.
What a fab idea! I also try to keep track of triggers (but usually rely on my dodgy memory). I’ve found fizzy drinks (especially slushies – refuse to buy them now!), too much sugar/lollies, orange/green/blue/red colourings, definitely have an influence. I try to keep foods and drinks healthy and natural, make a lot of our own lunchbox snacks, eat home-cooked meals as often as possible. It’s tough though.
Also, if they are tired or sick, they seem to have trouble handling their emotions.
And finally, routine is good. They always cope better when they’re in a routine; if we get out of it everything goes pear-shaped.
You sound like a good Mum. Parenting is lovely and rewarding, but it can be such hard work sometimes!
This is a great resource! Fortunately my twins aren’t really at the tantrum stage yet, but when they throw a little baby fit I generally try to “ignore” it. This is on advice from a behavior expert that we worked with for our older daughter. If there is something I have done to trigger the tantrum that was unintentional – like putting a toy out of reach when it is still play time – then of course I try to remedy that situation, but if I’ve taken away something that isn’t safe, for instance, and they’re just unhappy with me for ruining their fun then I just make sure they’re in a safe place and walk a short distance away. I get engaged in some non-absorbing task so I can pay attention to what they are doing without giving them attention. It is amazing how quickly they will give up and move on to some other toy or activity. I hope it will remain a pattern for some time. If not you can bet I’ll be back here downloading this tracker!
This is a fantastic idea. I was keeping track a while ago with my son’s meltdowns. It turned out additives in food and starting something new were contributing factors. Your chart is so clear and well designed. Great work
Thanks for dropping into my blog and for tweeting about my giveaway. Best of luck
The fantastic thing about using something like a tracker, is that you start seeing tantrums from a new perspective. Quite often we ask a lot of our little ones and they can only cope with so much. Tantrums are really a way of children expressing themselves until they can better control and regulate their emotions. Using a tracker would certainly help you interpret what they say.
Oh and I would definitely put the key on the tracker.
Have you thought about putting it on Google Docs? I have uploaded my Family budget their accessible for the world and it gets a few hits coming from the google search engine.
This is smart and inspiring. Sometimes we just need to take up the challenge to discover the route out of our problems. The Tantrum Tracker is a wonderful idea for most moms to have a checklist on their kids. It’s important to be observant, and find out the root cause of the Tantrum issue.
Another great example of clever mom nowadays. ^^
@wchingya
social media/blogging
Hiya!
I loved this idea!!!! I think it’s great to be able to identify what the ‘tantrum’ relates to!
Recently (due to a family-related illness) we had cause to have our son assessed for a sleep disorder/problem tonsils/adenoids etc.
Long story but his breathing seems affected and in having another family member assessed the question was asked if ‘others’ are affected and if the result is ‘bad behaviour’! The nurse apologised for her candid question! But I think she hit the nail on the head – our 6 yr old was not sleeping properly!
So for now we have antihistamine to settle the tonsils down (as they swell at night during sleep) and we have referrals to see a specialist to have him assessed to see where we go from here. It’s all making sense now and fitting together and we’ve had much better behaviour since we addressed the sleep/tonsil issue!
Cheers
Michelle
[...] kids. For any mum struggling with toddler tantrums (which mother doesn’t at some point?) her Tantrum Tracker is a great resource to check [...]
My 2 year old always has a tantrum for the same reason. Everytime we get to one end of the aisles at Coles he would start screaming. It didn’t take me long to work out why. From there he can see the Wiggles Car in the main part of the shopping centre and he is determined that we should stop shopping so he can have a ride. Since it’s the only time he has a tantrum I’m not going to put it down to more sinister items such as food additibes.
@Leanne Coventry
Yes, it is a wise mother indeed who indentifies the tantrum cause and doesn’t look to blame it on anything else! Maybe you could get him to wave at the Wiggles at the end of each aisle?
[...] Tantrum Tracker [...]
Hi! I have two kids,but being tired and out of routine is the greatest culprit. Even a half hour delay on their routine counts. So, I make sure to remember everything.
Nice observation and nice post! Have a great day!
gem´s last [type] ..My diet starts again today!
this is just what I needed to read….Thank you so much!
there are days my little darling will have his horrific moments of tantrums…
this is a nice post!
kokila