Rough and Tumble
There was a battle. There were casualties. The small boy was victorious. The grown man was left bleeding. Seriously.
We were having a lazy Saturday morning all together. My hubby was playing with our 8 month old son on our bed. They were laughing, tickling, making silly noises, and just generally having a bit of baby rough-and-tumble when WHAM! Little man’s hand connected with Daddy’s nose and there was more than a trickle of blood. All over my very white, very lovely 300TC quilt cover! I tried to attend to my poor injured husband, but to be honest I was more concerned about my poor linen!!
It’s interesting observing the similarities and differences between my daughter and son at the same age. I have to say that my notions about nature and nurture are being somewhat challenged. Boys really are built differently to girls. My son loves to play with the same toys my daughter did, but not in the same way. He loves noise! The first thing he does with any toy is bash it on the ground to see what noise it makes. And when he’s bashed each toy individually on the floor, he starts bashing different toys against each other to see what that will do! His displays of affection are far less gentle than his sister’s were too. Her baby-kisses were soft and sloppy. His are like a slobbery missile! Perhaps there is more truth to the stereotype about boys being more physical than girls after all…
I’ve recently read the highly acclaimed Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph but I’d love some opinions from other mums with boys. Are they rougher by nature, or is is more to do with the way we parent them? And how do we make sure our sons get a healthy amount of the rough-stuff without becoming bullies?
(By the way, it looks like my quilt will make a full recovery. Oh, and my hubby’s fine too.)
I think it is important to note at this juncture that it wasn’t physical force that caused the bleeding but rather our son’s razor sharp nails.
Edward Scissorhands 1 – Daddy 0
Don’t want to sound like Mr Glass here
as a parent of only boys but girls nieces – yes boys do play rougher and they roll better with the punches.
I think we need to make sure they know when they reach a limit and when they need to be more careful.
I have a five-year-old boy and four-year-old girl and I find that our son does need more “strong” physical contact. From everything I have read it’s the testosterone at work. I found it really escalated at around four years of age. He just wanted to jump on us and rumble all day. He has been playing team sports for the last two years and I think that is a great outlet. I was worried it would be feeding the beast at first but it’s been great for him. He’s very gentle with me and mostly with his little sister but I still find that when he gets in a group of boys it can become a bit rough and tumble. I definitely agree that they need to know a limit. We’ve always let our son know if he goes too far and he seems to be getting pretty good at self regulation and awareness of his strength now. Hhe still loves nothing better than a soft snuggle with mama and dada at the end of the day and can be very, very sensitive. I hope he can hang on to this as he grows.
I have found it very true that boys are much more physical in their communication. The boys respect the stronger one word answers and don’t need to explore the emo impacts like my girls do. I have three boys and even though my oldest is “all boy” he is still sensitive at 12/13 years old, which seems to be the case with all of them. We just have to help him harness and channel his strengths. James Dobson also has a series on Bringing Up Boys that is supposed to be good.
Lovies,DJ
Actually I have always found girls are far bigger nastier bullies than boys. Don’t sweat the small stuff hun, just enjoy watching each child unfold. Sounded fun, hope you also took photos. And teach your child to “kiss daddys nose better” or whatever to show his care. hugs!
Both my boys, 4 & 1 are very physical and always have been. Never in an aggressive way – they’d rather climb and jump on a lounge than sit on it, rather run or jump than walk, rather kick a ball outside than do anything inside, they come tearing across the room at full speed for a hug and throw themselves at me bodily. I have many new muscles and have become a much better catcher since I’ve had them!
From Facebook:
Nicole Maxfield Carr at 8:38pm June 16
Yep, we have the same here. Everything is bashed again and again. mind you Zoe loves rough and tumble too! They both pile onto Shane now it is very funny to watch.