Little Boys, Girly Toys
I know, I know. I shouldn’t worry about this one iota. I shouldn’t need to blog about this. I’m totally cool with my 12mth old son playing with his big sister’s toys, but I was surprised that I had to remind myself it was ok. And if I have to remind myself, maybe others need reminding too.
When little girls play with “typically” boys’ toys we smile. Of course it’s ok for girls to play with trains and trucks! No internal dialogue required. But so often, when little boys play with “typically” girls’ toys, we chuckle, make a joke, or at the very least make some comment that lets everyone else know we’re fine with it. Yeah. Really we are.
When I see my little boy pushing a toy pram or cuddling a dolly I know he is simply copying things he sees his primary role model do every day. Me. It’s not egotistical to say I’m his world right now. That’s just the way it is. According to Steve Biddulph (author of Raising Boys), when he’s about four he’ll transition to being Daddy’s boy. But for now he’s living in a woman’s world. And he has a big sister to boot! So yes, he will try on beautiful beads, play with my shoes at any opportunity and smother his teddy with kisses. And I’m fine with it. Honestly, really I am.
I just hope that one day we won’t all have to remind ourselves that it’s ok. Boys… girls… when they’re little – they’re all just beautiful children and gender stereotypes shouldn’t even enter our thinking as we watch them learn through play.
PS – Hubby and I are going to hear Steve Biddulph speak on the topic of raising boys next week. Will let you know what else I learn about being a mum to a son!!
LOL Riley is currently walking around the toyroom with big pink beads around his neck, not that that is unusual for him. It is a regular thing. He loves the pink pram too. I dont mind. He plays with it differently though, it gets crashed into everything. Zoe laughs at him and says “silly moochie” and then sighs.
Oh Cath, if you knew how many parents I have had to deal with (in childcare) who feel upset that their little boy likes to dress up in fairy costumes or high heels!
Most definitely a need for a BIG reminder, it will be okay!
My boys love playing with their dolls & breastfeeding LOL , the prams too.
At gym creche they do too. I think it is ok.
Sadly both have been worshipping the ground DH walks on since 2 yrs old …when he is home I am nothing till BF time or when Daddy says NO.
The Steve Biddulph talk should be great! No need for it in our house though with our two little girls.
You know you’re lucky to have girl toys in the house for him to try. Boys do like to try those toys especially the role-play home ones. My son still likes those kinds of toys (doll pushers, playing home, doll houses and so on) even now at nearly 4 and even though he is very much dad’s boy.
Heh it’s funny when people say things like “Oh and it doesn’t mean he’s gay” when they see their little boy go all tunky-winky with a handbag and and heels… I’m tempted to challenge them then with “and what if they are gay? (or turn out to be, not sure what age anyoen can actually label their orientation)”… but I don’t, because I’m a wuss :p (because I know that even though most people are accepting of gay/lesbian/bi/transgender etcetc if their own child was one of the above labels they still might take a lot of anjusting…)
Oh if Riley turns out to be gay, I dont care, It would mean I would not have to deal with a daughter-in-law. I would get another son, hopefully a plumber or machanic Postivites in every situation.
I’d love to to one of Steve’s talks one day, I’ve heard that they are fantastic.
Love this. Made me chuckle. My son (my fourth child) has three older sisters. The first colour he learnt is…. you guessed it….. pink. He loves pushing the stroller around with dolls in it and likes to try headbands on with the girls. And yet, he is not like the girls. As you say, he is just imitating what he sees. I don’t make an issue of it at all or tell him he can’t do that sort of thing because it is for girls. Just let little kids be little kids
GREAT ADVICE.
The order of children in my family goes two boys, girl two boys. I have noticed a pronounced difference in my thirds son propensity to role play, dress up and play with dolls compared to my older boys. We had most of these toys available to them, but they chose not to play with them. The third son however is very close to his sister and follows her lead and happily does all these things. I have thought that this will actually be to his advantage, as he practices so many social and verbal skills through these games.
I just got a copy of Raising Boys! I have 2 sons and need all the help I can get
I remember hubby’s dad being horrified when I sent him a photo of our youngest son dressed in a beautiful big purple tutu! We had to re-assure him that it was perfectly normal and all would be ok!
Phew! This was a great post Cath as it is something that had been on my mind as I watched Alex dress up in Amelie’s fairy costume and try on her shoes and jewellery. Glad to hear that it’s very normal little boy behaviour!:-)
The prams are one of the most play-with toys of my 5yo boy and 4yo girl. My boy is now in prep and he still plays with it, mostly in racing car style to race around the house. I don’t have a problem with it.
I also bought him kitchen set and cooking toys before I knew my second child is going to be a girl. Cooking is a survival skill for both men and women.
I have been ‘quietly’ reading your blog and loving it. Thank you for enriching my internet time.
This made me laugh…we have 3 boys, and no girls in the home. Somehow a couple of girl toys still snuck into our house. When our twin boys were 2 they went through a phase where they were both obsessed with Zoe from Sesame Street. They both carried around a Zoe doll, complete with pink tutu, for nearly a year. My husband was so patient with them…even when they insisted on taking them in public!
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