Superwoman
I’m a bit of a fan of Alicia Keys, and I’ve heard her song “Superwoman” a couple of times recently. It’s a great song, but it’s got me thinking. A few years ago this song probably would have been some kind of anthem for me, but now I’m not so sure. She sings, “Even when I’m a mess, I still put on a vest with an S on my chest – Oh yes I’m a Superwoman.”
I’ve dedicated a fair amount of time in the past in a vain attempt to become a Superwoman. Time and time again I’ve found it is a worthless pursuit. No one actually wants or needs me to be superhuman anyway! My husband doesn’t need a Superwife, my kids don’t need a Supermum, my girlfriends don’t need a Superfriend and God doesn’t need a Superchristian (Jesus already took care of that one). They all just want me to be real. Once upon a time – ok, not so long ago, when I was a mess I would put on my Superwoman costume like the song says. But these days I’m trying to let go of the Super-complex. So when I’m a mess, I’m going to pick up the phone instead of my big S vest and call a friend for help. When I’m dealing with a toddler’s tantrums and can’t quite get dinner on the table, I’m going to ring my hubby to get take-away on his way home. And when people ask how I am, I’m not going to tell them I’m “fine” unless I actually am. Well, I’ll try.
I’m not there yet, and I will probably continue to struggle with the Super-complex for a while. Maybe I’ll always struggle with it! I know I need to learn to be content with good-enough. It’s ok for me to be a good-enough wife, good-enough mum, good-enough friend, and good-enough Christian. The truth is that it is actually quite freeing! And hopefully, my kids will learn that it is ok for them to be good-enough too. I don’t want them to think they need to be Superkids. They are super just as they are.
(Pic is of a not-so-super-me. Just to remind myself…)
Great post Cath – it’s a hard to strive to be the best you can be, but also accept real life reality. Lucky for me, I have a strong lazy streak that holds me back from overload!
This is your best post yet. Words we all need to hear. I wish it was published in a parenting magazine.
Thank you – you have no idea how much that means to me…
Yes, you are good enough! God loves you as you are. It’s hard to try to be super -in fact it’s just not possible! Real life just gets in the way all the time – there are always curves in the road when we least expect them. I think that’s why God gave us family and friends – to lean on when the curves get tight. Dont forget to call on God for help too!
I hear ya. Still struggling with that one myself (not the Supermum part though!). I’m not sure whether it’s a personal standards thing or self-esteem or just trying to make sure that everyone else believes it. Accepting yourself as less than perfect is really hard when all through school you got marks for getting things right – no marks for wrong answers or mistakes! I guess that’s where being a Christian is liberating – Christ works in our weakness to make us perfect in a different way – phew. By the way, the pic is lovely – I think it’s totally super!
Thank you for this article. You have articulated exactly how I have felt over the last week. Today I made the decision to be a full time stay at home mum, for at least the next 12 months anyway. This week I have taken off my S vest and am happy to burn it! I just want to be me.