Questions About Real Play
It was a cold afternoon, and after being outside all I could think about was wrapping my hands around a warm cup of tea. I put the kettle on, and suggested the kids set up their own tea party for afternoon tea too.
They brought their “kids” along (a baby and a bear), then set the table with a tablecloth and our Plan Toys wooden tea set. The three of us enjoyed the role play as we made tea, fed the “kids” and helped ourselves to seconds. Such fun.
I left the real kids to it while I made myself a much needed real cuppa. As I wrapped my cold fingers around the steaming cup, my teacher-mama brain wandered. What would happen if I let the kids have real tea too? Would real tea enhance their play? Would it still be play if the teacups were filled with real tea? Is it ok for the lines between real life and play to blur? When is play no longer play? What IS play, anyway?
I whipped up some fairy bread* and poured two luke-warm cups of tea into little espresso cups. Mr 2 ate the bread but wasn’t at all interested in the real tea. He much preferred the freedom of the wooden cups – unconstrained by worries about spilling the liquid, exploring a new taste, or testing the temperature. Pretend tea in pretend cups is very well behaved! Miss 5, however, responded quite differently. She sat straighter. Held her cup carefully. Sipped cautiously. Made small talk. Re-enacted the behaviour and conversation she has seen and heard while out at coffee shops with me. Adding real tea took her play to a new level.
Was it still play? Maybe she was playing for real? Or was she just really playing?
I don’t need answers to any of these questions. Sometimes asking them is the important part. If as a mother and an educator I stop asking myself questions, then I have fooled myself into thinking I know all there is to know about the way children play, think and learn.
* For my overseas readers: Fairy Bread is a children’s party favourite here in Australia. It is simply a piece of buttered bread with hundreds-and-thousands sprinkled on top, and cut into triangles 
Oooooh! We have snacks and a cuppa with our friends/animals/babies on a blanket on the floor all the time…sometimes there are even actual snacks too. A big blanket means I am invited…a baby blanket means I am not
Our kids have mini-mugs which they use when enjoying ‘coffee’ with us (theirs have unsugared, warm milo instead of moccona). They will often sit at the table after kindy and have ‘coffee’ together while they discuss their favourite shows (much like me and their daddy do). Yesterday they discussed their wedding (teehee) while they had ice-cream sundaes they made themselves. I love watching them enjoy a drink/meal together in their own little world. Makes them feel grown up and is practise for life in the great-big-outdoor-world! I always think play is just practise anyway
Practise sharing, using manners, negotiating, enjoying the moment 
I love seeing you interact with your kids, Squigglemum!!! Always motivates me to stop and smell the roses along the way 
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That’s lovely. Also, you have given me an idea..since my 5 year old son doesn’t join in tea parties with my 22 month daughter and I, maybe we could have camomile tea or hot chocolate next time. After all its all about being together and having fun! I know what we are doing after school tomorrow!
Hi Cathie,
You know, I’ve never thought about these questions myself. Those are pretty insightful questions to ask about play. Thanks for sharing, I’ll have to think about this the next time I pour out ‘tea’ for my toddlers too!
Ronnie xo
p.s. How’s the bag going?
Pink Ronnie´s last [type] ..Before the animals- there was caffeine
A hot cuppa and fairy bread – sounds like a perfect combination to include in your play.
Awww! Gorgeous photo of the three of you
My kids have always loved playing cafes and restaurants. Kiddicinos are a favourite, with hundreds and thousands on top, as well as rooibos tea with milk and honey. YUM!
Always love your posts Cath, and esp the photos of your little cuties! Tea parties rule!
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Thanks for this post CAth. I was inspired to have a tea party too – except we had soup (blocks) straight from the cookbook. See picture here: http://houseofprowse.blogspot.com/2011/06/20-jun-deposits-and-interview-with-real.html
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